Wednesday, October 19, 2005

The Lone Onion Theory

For the first time in a while I perused my stats on my website today. But looking at those reports I think they're almost too much info. I don't want to know what version of Mozilla some of you are using. And I don't need to know that .8% of you are translating my rants into Dutch. By the way, if any of you .8% are in Amsterdam & are interested in putting a discreet American [with a leftover oat or two] up for a month, I'd like to hear from you. I can be reached at

Anyway, in said report is an interesting list of search strings entered into to get to my site.

Search strings to locate

lap dance
fluffer nutter
someday i'll understand
chaffed thighs
assassination of mayor mccheese
abbey hoffman
old guy on santa's lap
jerry hall leopard skin photo
skoal lid collection

Believe it or not I can see why a couple of them are listed. But the one I'm having the most trouble with is "assassination of mayor mccheese". Who's searching for this? Is there some conspiracy theory out there that I missed involving Grimace & those Fry Guys? Anyway, when I find where in my site I've written those words, I will issue a public retraction.

By the way, I do NOT apologize for "old guy on santa's lap". That, I will never take back.